Our Lost and Found  Tale

You have probably  come to this web site to meet or visit JIB the Poodle and you may even have  pulled this page up with just mild curiosity.   If you were actually headed for this  spot to read my reunion story, be prepared with Kleenex!

Forty years ago I was  an eighteen year old high school girl who became one of the silenced statistics  in a home for unwed mothers.  Today it is hard to imagine the social atmosphere that surrounded a circumstance that  should only be described as the natural outcome of "hot jeans".

I graduated from high  school three months pregnant and slipped away to hide.  The reasons seemed valid then, sparing  my family from disgrace, giving my child a better chance with an adopted  family, and of course my own opportunity to move on. The father of my child was a young  Marine on his way to Vietnam.

My son was born  December 7, 1965 and he was a healthy 9 1/2lbs.   Since relinquishing him to an adoption  agency, I have always felt I made the sensible decision, but it was no less  painful.  So many years have gone by  now, that the secret seemed less valuable each year.  I shared this story with most of my  close friends, and often with strangers when I just needed to release some of  the mental pressure.

With the fortieth  anniversary of his birthday in early December 2005, the time had come for me to  find my son.   My own Mother was in  hospice care with lung cancer, and Daddy was nearing the end of his fifteen year  Alzheimer's journey. There was  nobody left to hide from or to hurt.  When my Mother passed away I learned stories of my grandparents who "had  to get married". There was a child  out of wedlock in Australia, and a cousin who chose  abortion.  I figured it really was  "hot genes"!

I found a search  company on the internet, called Info Trace, and for a fee they provided the  key.   With the details I provided,  they found my son in 24 hours!   I  wasn't ready for that!   I waited and  thought about it, and assisted my Mother in her passing, then hung on to Daddy  for the few months we had before he too slipped away.   While trying to manage both the loss and  the aftermath, I was just overwhelmed.   My husband Michael lost his Mother within four month.  We were really down for the  count.

By late Summer I  started to feel the very strong pull to contact the man, named Tom Kirksey, who had been my baby boy. I wrote a letter giving him the details  as I knew them, and offered as little or as much contact as he could  handle.   I just wanted so much to  know he was real.   I held my breath  for the next few days after mailing the letter.   Of course I spent the weekend at a dog  show!

Tom answered my  letter with one of his own.   Our  approaches were so similar it is uncanny, or as we have found now, not so  surprising.  My son is a married  father or two, a college grad, business owner, athlete, great looking hunk of a  lovable guy!   We started talking on  email and cell phone immediately and have not stopped.

The reunion was in  late September on the front steps of Tom and Liz's home.  When Michael and I arrived with JIB we  were greeted with smiles and hugs.    Tom picked me up off the ground with his bear hug, and my grand-daughter  Claire took video. JIB and  grand-son Clay went right to work playing hide the toy.

I am just so thrilled  to share a part of this family and Michael feels the same.   We could never have guessed!  So, Tom wanted to know how a Poodle got  his job.   After seeing the web site  he admitted maybe the Poodle was over qualified!   So, Tom calls JIB his brother, and our  family continues to get to know each other better every day.   What a story!

Suzi

Aka New  Grandma